I had purposely not responded to any contact from the ex. But at some point I needed closure. My abstinence which had once been done to protect me was becoming a cloak of festering thoughts spinning through my head. I emailed him. He emailed back. Repeat a dozen more times.
And then, just like that, “Poof!”
I was over him.
I got my closure. I got my peace. He gave me the answers I needed to the restless questions and thoughts that had been spinning. One question received a heart-wrenching answer –he had taken an item of my jewelry and pawned it 8 months ago and never told me until the other day when I asked about it. I was initially distraught, but my recovery was almost as immediate. I became grateful. I am grateful that deceit happened because if it hadn’t, I would not have known the depths of his deceit and poor character. It’s like, if you give a person the opportunity to be bad or good, and they act worse than your wildest imagination could have fathomed, then, well, there ya go. This one couldn’t be blamed on the heat of the moment or a drunken rage, this one he purposely and consciously concealed from me for 8 months. There was something darker and more sinister about this deception than the others.
He continued contacting me, knowing that he’d hit the bottom and trying to back pedal somehow in a way that had suddenly become tired; transparent, but my answer?
“I think we’re done here.”
(Although the “think” could be inferred as a hedge –A word or phrase, such as possibly or I think, that mitigates or weakens the certainty of a statement, it is most definitely NOT a hedge. It was written as a finite statement and it was understood as such. He has not contacted me since.)
This relationship kicked my ass and he definitely did a number on my head, but I’ve come out on the other side. Where once I could only imagine the light at the end of the tunnel, and then over time, barely see a glint of it, until now where I’m standing out and basking under that light; that freedom, and now I’m just happy. Happy that journey is over. Happy that I’m finally over him. Happy that I’ve gotten my closure.
Happy for the, “Poof!”